Monday, September 12, 2016

Treating Others With Respect - The Ultimate Dating Test

By David Wygant

Recently, I was patiently waiting in line to get out of a parking garage in Beverly Hills, California (a place that already has a reputation for snobbery), when all of a sudden the woman in the car in front of me started yelling and screaming.  

Alarmed, I rolled down my window to listen to the commotion. As it turns out, there was no emergency. The shrieking woman was yelling and screaming because she had gone over the maximum time for free parking, and owed $2.00 to the attendant. 

The woman was driving a $100,000 Jaguar.  

The woman claimed that she had only been in the garage for one hour (and thus owed nothing), while the person in the booth said she had been there for an hour and five minutes (and thus owed $2.00).  

I was in awe of all of this unpleasant, childish behavior directed at an innocent employee because this woman (in her $100,000.00 car) didn't want to pay two measly dollars.  She actually called the woman an "ignorant immigrant," and told the woman that she should return to her own country.

Here's what I say about that: What is wrong with people?!  

That woman is no better than anybody else.  I don't care if you're the highest paid attorney in the country.  I don't care if you are the greatest doctor to ever grace the face of the Earth. There is nobody who is above you or below you.  We're all equal people.   

There are a lot of people in this world, however, who consider certain people to be beneath others.  These are the people who are always yelling and screaming and acting rude toward customer service reps and people working behind counters at the DMV.  They treat waiters and waitresses like servants. 

An interesting fact about people who think and act this way is that a great number of them are single. They can’t seem to meet anybody acceptable, and they can't figure out why.  

The reason they are single is because they exhibit this kind of bad behavior when they go out on dates.  Their date watches their interactions with other people and realizes that they are dating a pompous ass. 

When you go out with someone for the first time, check out how your date treats the waiter. You will get an immediate idea of how socially aware your date really is.  Do they complain about every minute detail in regards to the food and service?  That can be a warning sign that they are unable to relax will nitpick about every little thing in a relationship.  Do they tip really poorly (or not at all) despite receiving good service?  That's another red flag.

Listen closely to how your date talks to the person who is working behind the counter at Starbucks.  How does your date treat people in the service industry in general?  

A lot of people -- like this woman today in Beverly Hills, in her Jaguar - feel like they are above people in the service industry, and feel like they are entitled to treat people in the service industry like servants. 

So this is a really great tip for you.  If you're out on a first date with someone who is really rude to the waiter, then you are sitting across the table from someone who will be basically rude to everyone and has little concern about others’ feelings.  People always tend to act on their best behavior when they're on a first date, but yet they will still expose their true self by how they act in everyday situations.  

For the rest of you who aren't single, keep in mind that the people working at McDonald's, at the shoe store, at the mall, at the DMV or that parking booth are not there for you to abuse. They are not there to be yelled at, and they are not beneath you.  

They are just like you.  They are people who are working a job and trying to pay their bills. They are trying to support their family and trying to make a name for themselves in the world. 

Perhaps they are not as lucky as you are.  Maybe they didn't have the same education or the same opportunities that you had.  Maybe they were unable to go to law school or medical school, but that doesn't make them any less of a person or entitle you to treat them with any less respect. 

Start treating everybody as you would treat your best friend.  Start treating everybody with compassion.  Realize that these are people who don't need to be yelled at or disrespected.  

This applies especially to that woman who was in front of me in the parking garage.  That woman in the parking booth did not park the car.  She didn't decide how long that woman decided to stay parked there.  

That woman in the parking booth was just doing her job.  So if you're running late, don't ruin someone’s day and over $2.00.  

For the rest of you who want to expose a date, watching how they treat people is a great way to do it.  Find out what their true personality is like by seeing how they treat people. 

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching and his website, his advice has transformed the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. His funny, yet direct, approach to dating, sex and relationships has revolutionized how people meet and interact. He offers his advice across a wide media spectrum including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health and E! Entertainment Television -- as well as on over 2,000 radio shows.

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